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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27133907">and so he fell, but not before setting everything in his path ablaze</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/maebelles/pseuds/maebelles'>maebelles</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Background Relationships, Cheating, Hamilton AU, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Iwaizumi Hajime &amp; Akaashi Keiji are Brothers, M/M, Making Up, Song: Burn (Hamilton), Song: First Burn (Hamilton), Suna Rintarou &amp; Akaashi Keiji are best friends, bg atsuiwa, but only if ya squint, i used him horribly, im so sorry suna stans, op is sorry, osaaka husbands, pushing my iwaaka family agenda</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 20:07:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,525</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27133907</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/maebelles/pseuds/maebelles</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Was it all a lie?” All of the letters Osamu had written to Keiji lay scattered on the bed, many left open with wet spots spreading the ink to an almost unreadable point.</p><p>“I don’t think it was. He loved you, Keiji. He just let everything get to him. Being too close to the sun for too long will weaken you like that, but hey.”</p><p>“It’s up to you two to decide to rebuild. You make that decision, okay? I’m right here for whatever you decide to do.” Their house in the center of a luscious garden has burned down and nothing is left in its wake. Like Hajime said, it's up to them if they relocate or rebuild. It seems Keiji will have to wait either way.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji &amp; Iwaizumi Hajime, Akaashi Keiji &amp; Suna Rintarou, Akaashi Keiji/Miya Osamu, Miya Atsumu &amp; Miya Osamu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>and so he fell, but not before setting everything in his path ablaze</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>He reads words that blur one into another, whole sentences presented as a single incoherent string, but when examined close enough they speak of personal thoughts meant for only one person's eyes. The tens of pages of writings addressed to one Akaashi Keiji—now turned Miya Keiji—piled and hidden away in Keiji's dresser drawer. He adored the love letters Osamu wrote to him, full of descriptions of how he saw Keiji's beauty. Letters that detailed things better left unspoken until they could be within each other's presence. But the letters were only a fantasy that Keiji decided he would no longer allow himself to indulge in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he’d held the first letter Osamu had sent him, tucked tight to his chest and hidden between the folds of the envelope, Hajime had eyed him wearily.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Be careful,” Hajime had warned in a hushed tone in passing, “He’s a selfish one, that Osamu.” But Keiji was stuck in the new worlds built for him alone. The many lives Keiji was living in these letters, paragraphs wrapping around his legs like chains that tug him forward whispering </span>
  <em>
    <span>you must continue on. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Osamu builds them a home together in an untouchable garden. Their garden.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But now Keiji frantically pulls letters out of envelopes, tears streaming down his face and gasps of breath—begging for fresh air—overtake him. He needs to know, he wants to go back. He reads and reads and rereads, refreshing his brain with every line that Osamu had ever pieced together for him. With every word his eyes cross over and comprehend, a brick is pulled from the once so stable home in the middle of an untouchable garden. A small house fire is never small for long.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bold black letters greet Keiji and Hajime at the front door. Hajime picks up the newspaper and closes the door behind him. The two seat themselves at the table and although they can hear the uproar about </span>
  <em>
    <span>something </span>
  </em>
  <span>outside, they ignore it as usual. Hajime answers the frantic knocking at their front door following the solemn silence at the topic displayed on the front page.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hajime?” Atsumu’s voice floods in and Keiji’s solid brick walls fall, torn apart brick by brick by the very same man who’d built them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He saw?” Atsumu tries to speak in hushed whispers to his lover but the words still reach Keiji’s ears. He sniffles, vision blurring rapidly as his face is stained with tears and he sobs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t leave him and I don’t think it’d help with you around,” Hajime whispers to Atsumu. His tone is full of remorse and Atsumu understands, feeling just as furious at his brother. He presses a kiss to Hajime’s cheek and wishes them well, a promise to visit later and check on them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hajime, how could he do this?” Keiji whispered brokenly. He wiped at his face and hiccuped another sob. Hajime wrapped his arms around Keiji tightly, pulling him into his chest, and rubbed his arm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, Ji.” Keiji's wailing could be heard through the streets for hours. And anyone who knew the Miyas or had read the paper that morning, knew why.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Keiji, </span>
  <em>
    <span>please! </span>
  </em>
  <span>It was necessary, Atsumu was slanderin’ my name with lies and I had to tell the truth.” Keiji rounds on Osamu to glare at him, tears glistening in his eyes and fury practically radiating off of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Osamu, you </span>
  <em>
    <span>know </span>
  </em>
  <span>you could've left it at that! Who the hell </span>
  <em>
    <span>cares </span>
  </em>
  <span>what lies Atsumu is telling?! No one. Instead you've made a fool of yourself and a fool of me! Do you realize how stupid I look now? And </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>did that Osamu. Not Hinata, not Kageyama, and not your brother. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Keiji hiccupped a sob, turning away from his husband but Osamu grabbed his arm to stop him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Keij spat like fire on his tongue. Osamu could only let his lips fall down in a frown.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Keiji, why’re ya upset? I just did what I had to.” Osamu’s matter-of-fact tone only drove Keiji further from the edge, he yanked his arm out of Osamu’s grip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why am I </span>
  <em>
    <span>upset? </span>
  </em>
  <span>I’m upset because you told everyone about your own affair! You made me look a fool while you had one of my </span>
  <em>
    <span>best friends </span>
  </em>
  <span>over! And you </span>
  <em>
    <span>know </span>
  </em>
  <span>he didn’t know better! </span>
  <em>
    <span>He doesn’t even know what a healthy relationship looks like Osamu!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Keiji’s entire body shook with shuddering breaths, arms curled into his chest while he choked on his tears. Keiji recoiled from Osamu’s outstretched hand and took the chance to leave, rushing out of the house he no longer felt was home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Osamu stood in place, brows drawn together and another argument on the tip of his tongue but a hand on his shoulder drew his attention. Hajime met his eyes. He steps in front of him, hand fisted behind him as he holds back the urge to punch Osamu.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hajime—” Hajime held a hand up to stop Osamu.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t wanna hear it. Osamu, you realize what you did, right? If you really thought I’d take your side over Keiji’s then you’re just crazy. You broke his heart, Osamu. Not only did you lie to him, but you went and </span>
  <em>
    <span>published </span>
  </em>
  <span>your affair with Rintarou for everyone to see. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>manipulated </span>
  </em>
  <span>him Osamu, I hope you know that. He didn’t know any better, he was probably </span>
  <em>
    <span>scared </span>
  </em>
  <span>and you </span>
  <em>
    <span>used him.</span>
  </em>
  <span> God,” Hajime cut himself off with a scoff. He wiped at his watery eyes, refusing to really show how heavily the situation weighed on him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hajime, I—” Hajime cut him off with a shake of his head, a sad smile etched into his lips, as he brought his hand up to rest on Osamu’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just acknowledge that you took it too far. I don’t think you deserve Keiji after this, but his heart is too soft for his own good. You better fix this and treat him right or they won’t find your body.” Hajime leaves with one final nod. Osamu sighs, runs a hand through his hair, and realizes he’s done it to himself. Just like Hajime said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Keiji?” Hajime’s voice flooded into the room, followed by a candle’s light. Keiji turned on the cold bed to face his cousin. Hajime set the candle down on the bedside table and sat, pushing Keiji’s hair out of his face. He wiped at the tear stains on Keiji’s face, speaking quietly to him, words Keiji would never forget.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You have married an icarus, he has flown too close to the sun.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Keiji’s gaze drifted up, eyelashes fluttering, meeting Hajime’s bright green stare. A coldness washed over Keiji’s bones, he went stiff at the realization that Osamu has gone too far—strayed away too much—because of the wealth, the knowledge, everything he’s obsessed over. It’s right in the palm of his hand but he’s still hungry for more. It had struck him so harshly that Keiji felt he could no longer cry, tears could no longer express the anguish cast upon him. Instead, Keiji bid Hajime goodnight and let himself sleep. He let Hajime continue to take care of him through the next few weeks, he allowed time for everything to settle before he let his fury take precedence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Was it all a lie?” Hajime turned around from where he sat by the window, glancing at Keiji. He grimaces and shakes his head softly as he stands. All of the letters Osamu had written to Keiji lay scattered on the bed, many left open with wet spots spreading the ink to an almost unreadable point. Hajime reaches out, resting his hand over Keiji’s with his eyes glued to the letter in Keiji’s hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think it was. He loved you, Keiji,” Keiji nods at this with a tiny sniffle and Hajime wipes at Keiji’s face with a handkerchief, “He just let everything get to him. Being too close to the sun for too long will weaken you like that, but hey.” Keiji stares back at Hajime when he calls out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s up to you two to decide to rebuild. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You </span>
  </em>
  <span>make that decision, okay? I’m right here for whatever you decide to do.” Hajime pulls Keiji into his chest tightly and Keiji nods. Their house in the center of a luscious garden has burned down and nothing is left in its wake. Like Hajime said, it's up to them if they relocate or rebuild. It seems Keiji will have to wait either way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In the next two weeks Hajime is back to his home with Atsumu, and Keiji is to take care of himself and the house on his own. The first few days passed rather slowly, Keiji left to himself, without the drive to get out of bed. But on the fourth day, Osamu is home from travels and Keiji has no choice but to keep himself busy, anything to be as far as possible from Osamu. He spends hours wiping down the floors and windows, making sure to change bed sheets and ignore the eyes burning into his side as he passes Osamu's open office door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Despite the lingering stares Osamu throws Keiji's way, he doesn't try to interact with him. Keiji thanks whatever God, if any, is out there for this tiny bit of peace he's been granted. As the day passes quite uneventfully, Keiji winds down from his work for the day with a small dinner. He doesn't bother making anything for Osamu, cooks just enough for himself and by the time he finishes Osamu is dragging himself out of his office. Keiji ignores the way Osamu leans against the kitchen entryway frame to stare at his back while he cleans up his dishes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Keiji,” Osamu calls out softly to him. Keiji ignores him, pushing passed him out of the kitchen. Osamu follows close behind and reaches out for Keiji’s arm; Keiji directs his sharp gaze towards Osamu, disgust evident in the way Keiji’s lip curls up in a sneer. He snags his arm away from his husband, who pleads for his attention.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Keiji, c’mon. I just wanna talk about it.” Keiji knows from experience—knows because years of being with the man in front of him has helped—that Osamu’s tone is sincere. Keiji can hear the underlying honesty in his words, but after recent events Keiji begins to doubt what he knows. He doesn’t know the man who stands in front of him anymore, doesn’t know if he can trust the begging in his voice. So he narrows his eyes and puts on a mask of indifference but internally prays for Osamu to come back. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Come back home, </span>
  </em>
  <span>his mind says, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Come back to me and tell me you’ll fight for us. </span>
  </em>
  <span>But either Osamu doesn’t see it, or he ignores it, because he sighs and lets Keiji go.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The thin, thin thread that tethered Keiji to this Earth has snapped. He’s floating away, away from everything he knows, everything he feels and sees. The trust that had been stowed away in Keiji’s heart has been scraped out, torn from the fragmented pieces of his soul. What’s left of it, anyway. This is not the man he married, not the same man Keiji has known for years and thought about starting a family with. Keiji isn’t sure who the man standing in front of him is, this man who looks so much like his husband but at the same time is so unrecognizable it’s ridiculous. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Keiji avoids Osamu for the rest of the week.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Osamu is out today, off to work—at least that’s what he’d said. Keiji was left to the house alone again, left to his thoughts that never seemed to stop and when they did it only ended in Keiji out cold in his bed. So, when he’d heard a gentle rapping against his front door he was surprised. He hadn’t been expecting any guests, and he sure hoped Osamu wasn’t, but as soon as he opened the door there were heavy limbs settling around Keiji’s shoulders.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ji, I’m so sorry!” Rintarou’s sobbing caught Keiji off guard. He was all but suffocating Keiji with how tight he was holding onto the shorter man.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Rin, hey,” Keiji spoke delicately, resting his hand on Rin’s back, rubbing soothing circles.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, Keiji. I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t mean to, I didn’t—I didn’t want to but he—” Keiji cuts him off with a hush. He hugs him back just as tight and pulls him further into the home, kicking the door shut behind Rin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright, Rin. I know. I know, you don’t have to say anything. You didn’t deserve that,” Keiji pulls Rin’s face into his hands, thumbs wiping away his tears as he speaks. “You trusted him and he took advantage of you. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You don’t deserve that, </span>
  </em>
  <span>nobody deserves that. I’m sorry I couldn’t be here to help you, Rin.” Rin’s breath stutters in his chest at Keiji’s apology and his body goes cold, limbs tingling and stomach empty. Keiji moves them to sit on the sofa after that, simply spending time in each other’s presence, allowing themselves some time to reflect on their current predicament. They don’t talk, don’t ask questions or search for answers they know they won't find. They just hold on and hope things will get a little better from that point on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Atsumu and Hajime visit again after 3 months. It was a needed comfort for Keiji; with more people in the house, he felt less inclined to strangle Osamu every time he was around. Their relationship had definitely improved a little since the incident. Keiji actually made Osamu's meals now and would talk to him when completely necessary but still refused to be around or engage with him otherwise.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Keiji, you have to at least try to talk to him. I know you're mad and trust me, I don't blame you a single bit. But I know you,” Hajime's hand comes up to run through Keiji's hair, “I know you still love him. I see it every time we talk, I see it in the way you still kept some of the letters he wrote. It's okay, Keiji. It's okay to love him, it's okay to fix it. You just need to have the desire to want to.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Keiji willed himself to never forget those words. He'd never forget what Osamu's done, but after months without his husband, months without the man Keiji had spent years loving, Keiji knew he wanted to try again. He wanted his love back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they move, away from the busy life they had once lived, to a quiet little town, Keiji decides that now is the perfect time to start over. He can see how the grief has grown into Osamu's bones, affected him just as badly as it's affected Keiji.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“‘Samu?” Osamu's brows raise and he turns to his husband.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don't want to wait anymore.” Their fingers gently interlace and tears well up in both of their eyes. Osamu brings their hands up to his lips, pressing them softly onto Keiji's knuckles.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then we won’t.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>scream about it on my <a href="https://twitter.com/smtsukki">twitter</a>!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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